Biological Failure Imminent

RITESH
chauhan.

Currently pursuing a BSc in Botany & Zoology. Simultaneously architecting full-stack systems. I know how to dissect a plants, but I prefer dissecting SQL queries.

See The Damage

WARNING: SPAGHETTI

sudo rm -rf /social-life Error 418: I'm a teapot git push --force-with-lease Sleep is for the weak Why is this returning undefined? sudo rm -rf /social-life Error 418: I'm a teapot git push --force-with-lease Sleep is for the weak Why is this returning undefined?

01. THE PATHOLOGY

The Great Disappointment.

My parents wanted a Doctor. They got a 404 Error.

I realized that in Biology, if you mess up, something dies. In Programming, if you mess up, you just blame the cache and go to lunch. The choice was obvious.

CTRL+C / CTRL+V

Stolen Snippets

KIDNEYS

69%

Renal Failure Progress

WONT_FIX

YES

Does it have bugs?

SYSTEM.SLEEP()

NULL

Runtime Error

regret.js

class Ritesh extends Disappointment {
  constructor() {
    super();
    this.degree = "Botany"; // Useful for gardening, I guess
    this.job = "FullStack"; // Pain
    this.sanity = NaN;
  }
}

PORT: AKELA

CONNECTION REFUSED

Relationship Failed

GIT BLAME

Commits (FAKE)

Languages I speak better than French

PYTHON

PHP

MYSQL

HTML

ANXIETY

02. DEVOLUTION TIMELINE

2022 — BEFORE CODE

Studying Life

Cells, diagrams, and definitions. Life made sense under a microscope. Problems had names, answers had marks, and nothing crashed without warning.

2024 - COLLEGE ENTRY

The Accidental Start

Entered college for biology. Opened a code editor out of curiosity. Wrote Hello World. Nothing dramatic—except it worked, immediately, without memorization.

2025 - DUAL LIFE

From Curiosity to Craft

Studied enzymes in lectures, debugged logic after midnight. Biology explained life; code explained systems. One felt academic, the other felt real.

03. CRIME SCENES

FILE_01 // TEXT_BASED_SOCIAL_MEDIA

RANDOMOUS

PHPSQLJS

A social network for people who hate people. Anonymous. Text only.

BANNED BY IT CELL

FILE_02 // ADULT_CONTENT_LOAD_TEST

EXPPERIMENT

The content was adult oriented. The traffic was real. The database architecture was solid.The platforms were taken down.

HOVER TO DECRYPT

RITESHchauhan.